Hot Diggity!

Back at Ave K.Mads and I took this special topics Flannery O'Connor course.  And it was great.  And one day we had this idea to read one of the stories we were scheduled to discuss for the next class out loud with another one of our roommates, Meg, the Ginger. 

The story we read was hilarious.  It was about this woman, Millie, who was something of a spinster (a plain woman in her 40's: never been married, never even had a boyfriend) and a bad writer.  In fact, more often than not she actually didn't write anything, she just daydreamed herself into her stories.  This particular story she dreamed up concerned a cow farmer, who owned just one cow, and lived in a hut of a house with a belligerent wife who cooked him lumpy grits.  The poor, beaten man just sat there at the table, his big, sad, watery eyes soaking up the abuse his wife dished out into his bowl, his fiery red hair smothered, lank, and defeated from years of a loveless life -- and Millie can't take it anymore!  This drippy, disheveled, struggling man is, for the moment, her romantic ideal, and he is being relentlessly mistreated by his sow of a wife.  Millie protectively leaps into the story, kicks the horrid woman out, and becomes his new, good wife, over a breakfast of perfectly smooth grits.

As he complimented Millie for her grits, Meg read in her best hick-accent:

"Aw Millie... y'always make 'em jus' riiiight!"

Meg had clearly forgotten a key component of the cow farmer's ensemble, and K.Mads wasted no time in reminding her:

"Meg...he's a redhead."  "Oh!"

Immediately adopting the most suave, sultry voice she could muster, Meg tried again:

"Oh Millie... you always make them... just right."

(It's amazing what an accent and tone can do for a man's appearance.)

The story goes on as Millie and her redhaired cow farmer struggle through the hard times, barely feeling the cold, hunger, and dire financial straits because of the strength and warmth of their love.  One day Millie discovers she's pregnant (could it have come at a worse time?  The frost has killed their vegetable patch and they have to sell the cow for food...or the cow died... or something... it was getting bad).  In a fit of joy and excitement, we saw the return of the hick-accent as K.Mads exclaimed:

"HOT DIGGITY! WE'RE HAVIN' A BABY!"
(And in the retelling of the story, years later, Antoine poked his head into this scene with an affirmative: "FO' REAL!")

The rest of Millie's story is quite comical as well... especially the end where she meets the cow farmer in real life, sees him more like the hick from the first picture, and goes on her way disgusted.  Three cheers for fantasy.

Comments

  1. AnonymousOctober 10, 2011 at 2:45 PM

    We were rockin' that hick-accent. Good times. =)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Megan BOctober 12, 2011 at 2:00 PM

    HILARIOUS. Love the pictures. It's exactly as it happened ;)

    ReplyDelete

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