A Valentine Tale

Out of all the V-day stories I heard last week, this one was my favorite.  Here is the text in its original unedited format, with the addition of graphics à la Ani. The characters are two friends of mine who are engaged.  Enjoy.

"BABE LAST NITE I HAD A DREAM THAT SOME GIRL 
KISSED ME AND U BEAT HER UP"

"THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN IT STARTED RAINING.  BUT IT WAS RAINING INSIDE MY HOUSE AND INSTEAD OF RAIN IT WAS TURTLES."

"IT WAS SO WEIRD.  IM SORRY I KISSED THAT GIRL.  
SHE KISSED ME AND I RAN AND U CAME IN--"

 "AND TURNED INTO A SUPERHERO AND SAVED ME."
  
Aw. He loves her :)


On another note I got a Valentine from Gigas Mus, also recently dubbed Lester, formerly Mr. Stinkerbutt.  We actually have not seen (or heard) head or tail of him in quite some time, so he must have put some forethought into this Valentine.  I discovered it when I took out the garbage on V-day and opened a new bag - there it was: a giant rorschach-esque message skillfully bitten into the trash bag.  It was not the Valentine present I was looking forward to from him (I wanted to find him dead in a cupboard); but I interpreted it as a heart (it's a stretch, I know, but when all you've got is a rat you take what you can get), said to myself, "how thoughtful" and then threw it away:

Comments

  1. AnonymousFebruary 21, 2011 at 4:32 PM

    He had a pretty awesome dream. Your significant other turning into a superhero to foil infidelity! Thwarted!!!!!!
    Also, Lester is sweet considering his predestined short lifespan. The good die young?

    ReplyDelete
  2. AniFebruary 21, 2011 at 6:47 PM

    Yes his dream was pretty epic. I especially liked the turtles =P
    And Lester could hardly be called 'good' just because he is destined to die young and he gave me a valentine. He is naught but a thief and a varmint.

    ReplyDelete
  3. JessicaMarch 19, 2011 at 6:30 PM

    Lester's valentine looks more like one of those ink-spot pictures wacky psychologists like to use to psychoanalyse their patients. O_O Maybe he was even more thoughtful than you gave him credit for!

    ReplyDelete

New comments are not allowed.

Popular posts from this blog

Katie Walks Into a Bar...

Image
If you happened to be on fb two weeks ago, your news feed may have suffered an overload from one of my statuses (sorry Ian!).  If you missed all the fun though, please enjoy the edited, picture version here (no, I am not going to subject myself to retyping all 83 comments, you'll just have to go back to the status if you want the whole story). Catherine and I created a delightfully fictitious bar, where men are gentleman: they give you their seat and they buy you a drink.  More importantly, they are all gorgeous and famous and rich and heroic.  (Is that too much to ask for?) In the beginning, I said Archie Goodwin should be there.  No sooner had I suggested this than Catherine claimed him in a most selfish manner, stating:  "I get him. Because I knew about him first and because h is long standing girlfriend was a blonde so therefore he'll pick me anyways." ... First I countered with: " GAH. FINE. be that way. but you know Archie had brunettes on the sid...
Read more

The rattle of the bones, and chuckle spread from ear to ear. / A rat crept softly...

Image
This is the Tale of Mr. Stinkerbutt, his sudden transformation into the awful Gigas Mus, and his untimely demise. Once upon a time, in a charming townehouse situated at the outskirts of a large county, there lived four beautiful damsels called Erin, Gina, Meg and Me -- and one squatter called Mr. Stinkerbutt.  For the first few months that the girls occupied the house, they were blissfully unaware of Mr. Stinkerbutt's presence.  Alas such ignorance could not last forever!  One chilly morning in winter, Meghan discovered she was unable to eat her last bagel for breakfast, because Someone Else had devoured it betwixt dusk and dawn, leaving only crumbs in the bag in the closet.  This was our very first introduction to that gluttonous, pilfering soul, Mr. Stinkerbutt. Shortly thereafter, he made a second attack against our closet.  He seemed to favour Meg's shelf, shunning the dried goods on every other shelf, and nommed a giant hole into her loaf of bread. Me...
Read more

Goldilocks and the Three Bears' Bathtub

Image
 This is the story of Goldilocks. And three absent bears.  And a very big bathtub. So you all know the beginning of the story... The three bears, Momma, Papa, and Baby, go for a morning stroll down the path to the right, while waiting for their porridge to cool.  And since they were very honest, trusting bears, they left their front door unlocked. Meanwhile, up the other side of the road, a little girl came traipsing along.   And since she was a very rude little girl, upon seeing a door just her size, she walked right in, without so much as a knock! And since she was very dusty, and a little grubby, and feeling just generally sticky after wandering so far from her house that morning, she decided to use the bathroom to wash her face. When she found the bathroom, however, there was a marvelously grand and enormous bathtub, with fancy jets, a sleek faucet, and a full bottle of bubbles sitting right there on the edge of the tub!  It was too much...
Read more